Having a newborn in your family is no doubt an exciting and life-altering experience. However, it can also come with challenges, especially when it comes to managing your baby’s night feedings.

Sleep – or lack of it – is often one of the top challenges when you are caring for a newborn. Babies are naturally born with small stomachs and need to frequently wake up to feed for healthy growth and development. It would be concerning if they didn’t! Still, night feeds can be physically and mentally exhausting. And it also means that your own sleep will be unimaginably disrupted for the first few weeks or months.

However, there are various ways you can get newborn night feedings off to a great start and ensure they feel more manageable for both you and your baby. These tips help you manage newborn night feeds without disrupting your or your baby’s sleep too much.

Part of this is to understand just why night feeds are so important for your newborn and for increasing your breast milk production. 

Why are Night Feedings Important?

First, it significantly helps to understand that it’s completely normal for newborns to wake frequently during the early mornings and late nights in the early weeks and months. 

Your baby wakes to feed but also for many other reasons, including being uncomfortable or scared, being cold or hot, feeling the need for reassurance, comfort, and connection, and a number of critical reasons. As the little ones cannot independently satisfy these needs, they rely on their mom or caregiver to help them. Night feedings give you a way of conveniently and easily meeting many of these needs in one go.

Most newborns typically feed 8 to 12 times every 24 hours or every 2 to 3 hours.

As they experience growth spurts, the frequency increases to support their body’s growth and developmental needs.

For new mothers —and even those seasoned ones who are well acquainted with odd-hour dates— feeding a baby throughout the night can feel exhausting and overwhelming. 

But as difficult as it is to wake up after a few hours of sleep every night and as much as it feels like a punishment of sorts, night feeds are critical, especially for establishing and maintaining a good breast milk supply. The more breast milk your baby sucks, the more milk is produced: It’s basically a matter of supply and demand. 

Also, your body produces more useful hormones during the late hours, making your breast milk the very best quality, which can be beneficial for the baby.

Whether breastfeeding or waking up to prepare a bottle, we have some great tips to help each night’s feeding be as relaxed and manageable as possible so you can both resume sleeping peacefully.

Listen first

Newborns and babies, in general, can be very noisy sleepers!

My daughter, for example, wiggles, grunts, turns vigorously, and even cries lightly in her sleep.

And like me, mothers often jump up to the baby’s every noise and wake them up prematurely. 

If you wake up to your little one making some noises, don’t pick them up right away- unless your baby is crying. Wait and see if she is simply wiggling and sniffling in her sleep or if she needs tending to.

Keep the room dark

Try keeping the room as quiet and dark as possible during a night feed. This will help make it clear to your baby and her body clock that it’s not daytime and will help both of you get back to sleep more easily once the feeding is done.

If you need some light, use a dim or night light, or let the light from the next room or the hallway spill into the feeding room. Try to avoid any blue-based light, like watching TV while feeding, as it can interfere with melatonin production making it harder for both you and your baby to go back to sleep.

Don’t interact with your baby

Newborns are naturally cute. I should know; I have one. 

It’s very easy to get drawn by her pretty face and even tempted to start making faces, smiling and kissing her, forgetting that this will stimulate and fully wake her up when she should go back to sleep. Your baby doesn’t need tickles or games in the middle of the night – save these for the daytime when they are awake or when you want to keep them awake!

If your baby is unsettled after feeding, just lay her down and wait to see if she’ll settle herself. You can stroke her back or head or hum a lullaby (if it’s not distracting to your baby) to help soothe her. 

But don’t interact with her unless she’s really upset.

Set up a feeding station

It significantly helps to be as prepared and organized as possible to avoid moving around when you’re tired and sleepy and your baby’s hungry. Set up a feeding station and have everything you need for your night feeds in the same room as your baby to make the experience easier.

Keep all items like nappies, wipes, a changing mat, wipes, fresh clothes, a breastfeeding pillow, burp clothes, a bottle, formula or expressed milk if you’re bottle-feeding and drinking water (very essential when breastfeeding) and whatever supplies you may need within reach.

This way, you will minimize movement during feedings, which can disrupt your baby’s and your sleep.

Keep it short

Try to keep the night feeding as short as possible. This will help your little girl or boy learn that the night is for quick feeds and going right back to sleep. 

Newborns get stimulated quite easily. Keeping the feeding short helps avoid possible stimulation,  which may wake them fully. It also helps your baby learn to fall back to sleep on a half-full stomach, eventually reducing the likelihood of her waking up at night.

Only change your baby if necessary

To minimize the chances of stimulating and waking your baby during night feeds, don’t change her diaper unless she’s very wet or has a dirty nappy. If you run your finger through and find that the diaper is only slightly wet, consider skipping changing it.

But if you do need to change baby’s diaper, it’s best to do it before the feed so as not to risk waking her once she’s settled and ready to fall back to sleep. You can also change the diaper mid-feed if your baby is too sleepy to feed sufficiently. A diaper change helps wake them up just enough to continue feeding.

Keep your baby close

While co-sleeping can be a controversial subject, it can be a huge help during those first weeks or months when nursing moms are often waking up to feed their babies.

Safely sharing a bed or setting your baby’s sidecar cot very close to you makes it easy to wake up and get back to sleep afterward. 

Research proves that breastfeeding tends to be more manageable and successful for moms who co-sleep than those who sleep separated from their babies at night. Plus, the WHO recommends that parents share rooms with their babies for the first six months.

Embrace the side-lying position

For nursing mothers, learning to feed lying down, also called the side-lying breastfeeding position, and being able to fall back asleep safely with your little one is when the experience starts to feel a lot more manageable.

Some moms may start feeding their babies at night while they sit in bed, but many soon realize that learning the side-lying position can really help everyone get more rest, especially as the newborn gets older. The same rules for getting a nice, deep latch apply when feeding while lying on the side as when feeding upright. 

If you choose to co-sleep or the side-lying position during night feeds, make sure to follow safe guidelines and practices for both you and your baby.

•           Go for a firm, flat surface. Avoid overly soft surfaces, such as waterbeds or sofas, to minimize the risk of accidental rolling.

•           Place a nursing pillow or rolled-up blanket behind your back for added support and to help prevent you or your baby from rolling too far back. It also helps you maintain a safe space for your newborn.

•           Position yourself facing your baby to establish a proper latch, which will help you stay more alert when feeding.

•           If you want to nurse from both breasts, simply tilt your body forward more. This also ensures equal stimulation and helps prevent discomfort. 

•           Be mindful of your level of sleepiness. If you are drifting back to sleep mid-feeding, gently tap into your awareness by sitting up or whispering to your baby.

•           When you finish feeding, make sure to return your baby to a safe sleeping position or to her crib or bassinet. Remove any feeding items used, like loose bedding or pillows, that could pose a risk to your baby.

It may take a little practice to master the side-lying breastfeeding position, but overall, it’s easier and less disruptive.

Get comfortable

While you need to make sure you stay awake when feeding at night, getting a comfortable feeding position is still one of the most effective things you can do.

Find a comfortable chair or sit in a semi-reclined position in bed with a blanket or pillows supporting you while feeding your baby.

Consider using white noise

If your baby is easily disturbed and woken by outside noise, such as dogs barking or passing cars, consider using white noise to help drown out the background noise. This will also help keep them settled and ensure they remain sleepy enough to fall back to sleep after feeding.

It’s important not to make comparisons  – babies are unique

New mothers often get asked about their babies’ sleep routine and their approach to night feeds. Such conversations can sometimes result in (unwanted) opinions and comments about what you ‘should’ be doing, what is normal, and how to ‘resolve’ things. And, if you are awfully overwhelmed, you may be thinking that you need to try some of those suggestions or find a ‘solution.’ 

Plus, there are several unhelpful sources setting unrealistic expectations, which may undermine your self-confidence as a parent or make you wonder what normal is when it comes to your baby’s needs.

It’s easier said than done, but try to resist being too hung up about what and how much other parents say their babies sleep. Don’t compare your experiences and situation to other mothers and their babies. If you are struggling with what feels like a never-ending cycle of feeding at night, it can be difficult not to feel envious and disheartened to hear that a friend’s baby is ‘sleeping through the night.’ However, it doesn’t mean they have the baby thing all figured out or are doing something better than you.

It’s important to remember that you can’t change your baby’s needs, as babies are all different. You are doing an incredible job getting through night feeds the best way you can and responding to your own baby’s individual and unique needs.

Try to cope with the challenges of managing your baby’s night feeding

Understanding that feeding at night, especially breastfeeding, is good for the baby and our milk supply and that it is actually the biological norm for mothers can often be reassuring. Nevertheless, lack of enough sleep and rest can be really difficult for many parents. It can feel especially exhausting if your newborn wakes up more often than other babies or if they are older but still wake up more than expected.

If you are really struggling with sleep deprivation and tiredness, you may want to find more ways to make everything manageable (in addition to the above methods). These can include taking care of yourself during the day to ensure you aren’t as heavy at night.

1.     Get help from your partner:  

Even though night feeding may be the responsibility of the mom alone, there are many ways to get support so that the experience feels easier. If you have a partner, try taking turns or asking for help with whatever, and be clear about the kind of support you need.

For example, partners can get up if the baby wakes up early to give mothers some extra resting time in bed. You can also take shifts or alternate feedings during the night, especially when you are bottle feeding. This way, you both can get some quality sleep and feel more rested.

2. Sleep during the day

Even with great preparation and help, feeding at night can be a shock to the body system, especially in the first few weeks or months. It can be beneficial to adjust your own conception of night and day to fit in with your little one. New parents often find this challenging, but it can be good to try and get as much rest as possible when your baby does. 

Alternatively, go to bed earlier when your newborn has her first ‘longer’ stretch of sleep. You can also have your partner or someone trusted to look after your baby while you lie down. The goal is to get as much rest as you can so that you are able to manage night feedings better.

3. Ignore the clock

For a few weeks after delivery, I couldn’t sleep or do basically anything without looking at the clock. I always wanted to know what time baby slept, what time I slept, and what time we both woke up or what time I needed to wake up. This negatively affected my rest. Whether I slept for an hour or three, I always woke up feeling tired because the constant reminder of how many hours I slept was somehow dissatisfying, especially compared to how much sleep I got before delivery or how much sleep one is supposed to get normally (6-8 hours).

So, as tempting as it may be to check the time during the day or at night, watching the seconds tick by will just make you anxious about how early or late it is and how little rest you’ve had. Like anything, the whole experience could feel exhausting and longer if you constantly count the minutes. Simply ignore the clock when feeding or when taking your rest.

Additionally, you can join groups or communities for new parents, as hearing that others are also experiencing similar challenges can be quite reassuring (and even amusing).

Remember to drop the unrealistic expectations of the newborn sleep cycle, as the resulting misalignment of reality and expectation can increase stress.

Do Remember,

It’s okay not to enjoy every second of breastfeeding, and it’s okay to complain about being exhausted and overwhelmed: that doesn’t mean you don’t want to continue doing it or that you are doing something wrong.

Second, it’s important to know that you are not alone in your struggle. At any point, there are thousands,  if not millions, of parents up and feeding their babies – of different ages – at night.

As new parents, we all spend a lot of time wondering whether we are getting it all “right.”This is the one journey of our lives that’s incredibly important, yet we enter with basically zero training, and that can be scary and often overwhelming. But there really isn’t a single way to “fix” things when it comes to parenting. That’s why having a few tips and tricks can be helpful, especially when dealing with the hard parts like night feeding your baby. In this article, we’ve given you some ways to help you manage nighttime feeding without disrupting much sleep for you and your baby because we could all use new tricks, even if the mom is expected to know best!

And if you can, accept that feeding your baby at night is a necessary part of her growth and development, and it will not always be like this. So before they outgrow your arms, try to go through the challenges while enjoying the cute little cuddles and having them all to yourself.